How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
