when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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