I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
