obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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