There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
