I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
