Capitaan dildo arrescate!
only if we run a train.
done.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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