She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I supernannyed him into submission
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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