I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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