she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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