You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
