Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
