need another drink. this is the easiest way
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
