In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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