The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
