No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
