Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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