She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
