Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
