I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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