Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Holy shit dude........stairs
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
