he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
