So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
