TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
