The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
