Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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