talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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