I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
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