You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
