you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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