so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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