gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
