so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize