that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize