It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Do vagina's smell?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Randomize