We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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