Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
