Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We have started to decorate penises.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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