making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
