So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
