Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
