meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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