i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
