She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize