wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
