Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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