i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
