I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
