Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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