Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize