The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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