I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
How drunk are you?
Completed.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
