WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I hate all girls vehemently.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
