forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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