i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
